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Audrey Clark - 'Outside Looking In'    For adult survivors of abuse everywhere
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Does like attract like when it comes to abuse?
Is revenge ever justified?
Do you wear the badge of abuse?
Abuse in the war years
Sharing my story with those who will be listened to


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My Blog

Does like attract like when it comes to abuse?

The law of attraction states that you should adk the universe for what you want in order to receive it. Positive thoughts attract positive responses. You wish for money it comes. You wish for love it comes.
So if like attracts like does that then mean that abuse or abusive situations attract the same. Give someone a dollop of abuse and then for good measure deliver more? 

To clarify an abuse survivor can go on to subconsciously seek out an abusive relationship because either that's all they know or that's what they feel they 'deserve'.

Is revenge ever justified?

Have you ever been wronged. Have you ever been hurt so badly you can't see the wood for the trees because the pain is so intense? I ask the question then 'are there times when revenge is justified and does it make you feel better?' Perhaps a lover has wronged you, betrayed you......perhaps you've been duped in business or been betrayed by an abuser or abusers in my case? When something truly terrible happens to you it's difficult not to want to take revenge. I don't condone it.

Do you wear the badge of abuse?

Yes. The badge of abuse and entry  of that exclusive club that more and more of us admit to being part of daily. It saddens me when my followers contact me to say they were once in my shoes. I always thought I would glean comfort from discovering but I don't. That 'comfort' is very quickly replaced by a sadness. As a survivor I share both pain and commonality with those brave enough to come forward. We all sport the badge. It brings a painful reminder of where I life turned that horrific corner.

Abuse in the war years

I focus a lot on abuse during my life span but I am ever aware that abuse has been in practice since year dot. I began thinking of the abuse that many suffered before me and my counterparts. The military suffer abuse, bullying and in less civilised societies barbaric treatment. Abuse in children's homes and churches and military has been well documented but I wonder how those living in extreme times coped? Case in point those living through the second world war. Not only would they have encountered extreme hardship but then on top of that the added mental and physical strain of mental and physical abuse with no support structures.

Sharing my story with those who will be listened to

We are doing a grand job spreading the word that abuse is absolutely unacceptable and disclosing is absolutely acceptable. It's ok and it's message is circling the globe. Little old me has managed to do that with a little help from her friends. I feel such a sense of achievement.

I know that celebrities and high profile figures have sent private messages of support to myself. Once again, thank you. There are many I would like to contact. If anyone knows such a person and can make that contact on my behalf then do please email me.

The plausibility of an abuser

I tried to write this last night but during the process it disappeared so here goes again!

If you are reading this in the U.K  you may well have watched the gripping three part drama 'The Widower'. In a nutshell the main character murdered his first wife (for the insurance pay out), attempted but failed to murder his second once again  gain and nearly murdered a third woman. He escaped conviction for twenty years before finally receiving life imprisonment in 2011. Apart from the chilling demeanour of his character and ability to switch visible grief on and off , practising his skill in front of the mirror what was even more chilling was his plausibility, his niceness, his fake desire to appear amenable a common trait in an abuser, a paedophile.

Does a privileged childhood make you a happier adult?

This is a alien question for me. I almost feel uncomfortable contemplating it but I would welcome opinions by email.  Having only the bare basics as a child would have been ok as a child. I knew no different. The fact I endured abuse marred just about every experience that followed. I did notice the new clothes my peers wore at parties. Mine were embarrassing at times. Usually second hand though there was the odd pretty dress that was probably well worn and definitely seen out more than once.

A lack of aspirational adults for children to learn from

Many children certainly in the UK are living through tough times. Parents not working, in low paid work with worries mounting. Children look up to their parents. They often want nothing more than to please their parents. So when life appears bleak and role models are in short supply children look towards the next immediate circle - the school and it's staff.

After visiting my old Junior school and seeing how the children listened to their teacher who talked of my achievements as an ex pupil. No matter how tough life is if you believe and work super hard at school you can realise your dreams.

The little girl is feeling positive and uplifted

Well, it has to be said as the sun shines so do my spirits even though I sold my car today but no doubt the withdrawal symptoms will prove just too overwhelming and my vision of more walking will be replaced by the usual desire to move at speed constantly!

'It's ok' continues to spread it's message to all corners of the globe and the sales of  Outside Looking In continue. There has been so much interest I wonder whether selling the rights to my book might be a logical step forward?

The school that saved my life....

As many of you will know via my blog and book Outside Looking In Peel Hall Junior School in Little Hulton, Worsley quite literally saved my life.  Yesterday after four decades I went back to visit my beloved junior school. The staff may have changed, the building vastly improved from my day but the school was essentially the same and every teacher leaves their own particular imprint on the lives of their pupils. In my day it was Mr Seymour and Mr Gregory who had the biggest impact on me and as an abuse victim back then school was everything to me.
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